Raising Pagans

This is going to be a pretty hard post to write, but here goes.I was raised a Christian, although I was never Christened.But for me although I’ve always considered myself spiritual, I never found any connection.When I was 11 a friend of mine told me that I wouldn’t be able to get married if I wasn’t confirmed (I don’t know what that meant back then and still don’t!).She suggested that I attend Sunday school.So for just over a year I spent 2 hours every Sunday and Thursday evening learning about Christianity.Now, for me if you don’t know or understand something you ask questions, which I did.A lot.But I became very frustrated with the answers I was given.Because they weren’t really answers, quite a few contradictions.So I left.By the time I was 16, I began to feel a bit ‘unattached’ spiritually, back then I felt I had to ‘believe’ in something but had no idea what it was.It was many years later after a break up from my then fiance, that I decided to discover myself.I didn’t really have any idea what I was doing, I just bumbled along reading lots of books.It was late one night when I was flicking through TV channels when I came across an interesting programme on Paganism.I sat there and thought wow, I can relate to this.So I began researching and learning about Wicca and Witchcraft.Now, unfortunately my ‘coming home’, was untimely as this was around the time when Buffy the Vampire Slayer hit the British screens.Where one of the characters, Willow becomes a Wiccan/Witch.Although of course she wasn’t portrayed in a very good light (but then they never are!)I love Buffy and the spin-off Angel, but I soon began to realise that I couldn’t sit my family down and say, “Hey, guess what I’m a Witch!”.So I did keep my beliefs to myself.Which back then, was a dual deity, a God AND a Goddess.Although because, Paganism is a fertility ‘religion’ the Goddess is seen as the giver of life.Now, I read many books.After a while I began to study Wicca, a new religion (around 50 years old) which bases itself with Witchcraft.Now I could go into huge detail here but I won’t.Instead I’ll put a link to Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wicca
My favourite authors are Cassandra Eason, Scott Cunningham, Kate West, Sally Morningstar, Marian Green and Rae Beth.I have read really good and really stuff (fortunately not too often).Along the way I have realised with the birth of my second child that I wouldn’t be able to practice rituals or meditate as much if at all.My husband isn’t a Pagan and I had no intention of teaching our kids my beliefs so I had to find other ways to connect to the earth and this leads me on my next post.